In case you didn’t know, the world isn’t ending on May 21st. Breath a sight of relief. The world is ending on October 12th, according to the calculations of this crazy dude on Family Radio, Harold Camping.
On May 21st, the Rapture is coming. The Apocalypse. Judgement Day. This means that if you have lived like a saint, tomorrow you go kaput. The rest of us will still have 5 months of debauchery suffering to go. Call it what you may, May 21st is just the beginning of the end. When you think about it, the day is actually a day of celebration, like the birthday of baby Armageddon. Live in fear for the next five months or live like there’s no tomorrow. At Remezcla we’re going down renegade style. Here’s how our staff is going to celebrate the day.
The world may not end up ending, but one thing is for sure: our priorities are pretty straight.
I will wake up and cuddle with my lovely pups for an hour or two. Then, I will spend the day drafting hate mail to people who’ve pissed me off in the past (grandpa, that means you). Then, if the weather is nice, I may head over to Habana Outpost to celebrate with some guac, elotes and margaritas.
I will turn into a Gremlin, and I will fuck and eat and drink, and do a lot of badass stuff.
1. Wake up next to someone special on Saturday morning
2. Eat a delicious vegan brunch on my friends rooftop
3. Go shopping for a new party dress with my baby sister
4. Dance all night with good friends at NYC’s only mashup dance party Bootie NYC
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I would love to get drunk and come out of my place streaking, a la Will Ferrell in Old School. And then, I’d crash into a bar full of Oompa-loompas. I love midgets.
I’m going to stay home, read all the magazines that have piled up on my coffee table, and maybe go see Les Nubians at the Conga Room if the world hasn’t ended yet.
Dance, drink, fuck, sleep, eat, and fuck some more. Taddaaaa! Sample the most basic pleasures of the world until the very end. Did I miss any?
I am celebrating the beginning of the end with my favorite person in the world, my 3 year-old nephew Emilian. He usually has the best insights on life and the world. I’m sure he’ll be wise about Armageddon. In the mean time, we will be prepping to watch the Chicago Bulls kill the Miami Heat in game 3 on Sunday. The world won’t end until the Chicago Bulls bring back the NBA championship. This I’m certain of.
I will spend all of today and tomorrow praying to Jesus. If He doesn’t come, then Sunday I start my year long devotion to Kukulcan.