News / Music

Holy Clichés, Batman: A New Shakira Video is on the Horizon

One of the reasons why we have a pear-shaped shrine to Shakira here at Remezcla is because she’s the one artist we can count on to keep surprising us. Especially with her videos. We never know when she’s going to dress up in 25 yards of nopal-colored taffeta while doing a bungee jump off of an active volcano and simultaneously engaging in her usual vocal gymnastics.

NOT.

Judging from La Shaki‘s new video, she seems to have lost the modicum of creativity she had left in her. With her new chulería vehicle for “Gypsy/Gitana,” she officially bids adieu to the days when hip-thrusting and heartthrob-rubbing weren’t essential parts of her visual bits. The new formula for a Shaki video, we now know, is one part semi-nudity, two parts golpes de barriga and one part occasional sweaty papucho. Regarding the latter, her hunk du jour is Rafa Nadal, the one Spanish tennis star who is as hot on the eyes as he is on the court (see evidence in the pictures above and below).

RafaShakira1

A behind-the-scenes shot from the new music video

Mind you, Nadal‘s done the “moddle” thing before, for Nike. But we don’t hate on Rafa here — as of right now, the man is ranked third in the world, and used to be on the top spot. Plus, that hot bitch can do no wrong, as long as he keeps slamming those balls the right way. Hrmmm.

But Shaki, dear, your last album has been a complete disappointment. If there’s something we’ve learned from Our Lady of Gagalupe is that you can get away with crappy songs as long as you keep your audience on its toes. That early-aughties Britney Spears look is getting you nowhere, and your hips don’t lie when they say we’re all getting tired of them. How about dropping your tried and tested music video directors (in this case, Gypsy‘s Jaume De Liguana, who you’ve worked with before), and rethinking your image? And perhaps telling us what on Shakespeare’s name it is you’re saying in the English version of “La Loba”?

The video’s coming out soon, so these pictures are all we’ve got for now. When it does, we might watch it. Once. And then we’ll go back to being productive with our lives. But Shaki, remember: We hate because we care. You can do better.